bluemonki dot net

prepare yourself mortal! The brain dump is not for the mentally faint…

• Why are roses so expensive?

  It was valentines day the other day, where traditionally you give your lady some roses. That’s cool - flowers are nice and it’s good to have a day set aside so that you can remember to buy some, rather than all the other times you think about it but don’t. The trouble is that the roses cost loads of money, but why is that?? We can grow them in Britain so we shouldn’t have to import them surely? But we do anyway, they mostly from Kenya. So me annd a buddy got to thinking about the other things that come from Kenya, lions, tigers (so the [song] says), monkey picked tea, Weasel crapped coffee etc.

  Now looking at the list it would seem that only monkeys and weasels do any work in Kenya, the people there have obviously trained the animals very well. But monkey picked tea and weasel crapped coffee are cheap, so neither the weasels nor the monkeys are picking the roses. This leaves only one solution: The Lions are picking the Roses!! and what would a lion want as payment?? An antelope - and they don’t come cheap!!

  These Lions are generally disliked by the rest of the Lions that have proper (non-girly) jobs

  

• Why don’t mobile phone people understand what users want?

  Ok this is what I want:

  I want multiple sim cards with the same number, so I can have multiple phones without having to constantly dismantle them (a legal form of cloning if you like)

  I also want my contacts to be a shared resource so I don’t have to keep copying them around, a sort of [del.icio.us] for mobiles

  Is that so hard?? IS IT!!??

/ end dump

Technorati Tags: lions, roses, valentines, kenya, mobile

You’ve seen the adverts on the TV, his CD is probably in the shops, and now someone I know thinks it’s cool. Yes this is the man who covered Nirvana’s “Smells like teen spirit” in a ’swing’ style (if you can call it a style).

If you really do need to hear it you can do so at [Verve Music]

But seriously, make him stop, for the sake of the children….

Technorati Tags: pain, nirvana, swing, stop