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I went for a poo today and it smelt really bad. It’s not the first poo I’ve ever done and it hopefully won’t be that last. But it got me thinking…

why womens poo doesn’t smell.

Then I thought, maybe it does smell but somewhere along the evolutionary chain all the men who said

“Bloody ‘ell love that stinks”

got killed off (by angry women) and so the smell-of-womens-poo gene got wiped out.

This then got me onto the phrase

“eau de toilet”

which in the only-fools-and-horses dialect of french (which is only spoken in the very northern most parts of france and generally consists of talking english slowly and loudly and is technically a native english language) means toilet smell, but in the more commonly used dialects is another word for perfume.

Should I be bottling up my poo smell and selling it to midland/southern french ladies? Did they by some bizarre freak of nature grow a gene that appretiated the smell rather than one that is rupulsed? Can I get one implanted? Where can I get one implanted?

Well that’s all the thoughts for right now. May your bowel movements be free and regular. Out

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